Stage ZERO to Stage FOUR... Rain refreshes all

Taken Sept. 2015 - The image reminded me of tonight's much needed rain and washing away some bad feelings.
I know this 'ray of light' thing looks fake, but all of my posted pictures have been unedited, only cropped. Cool huh?

Tuesday's blog was based on love. Unfortunately, Wednesday I turned a 180 and just felt hate... I despise, loathe, abhor, dislike, HATE cancer and what it did to my wife, what it did to my daughter and what it is doing to so many other families.  It is a cowardly disease that runs and hides from treatment, and in the end, attacks in the cruelest forms.

The thing I am most upset with is the fact that we 'had it.'  Vanessa caught it early as possible... she actually knew months ahead of the doctors, but due to the 'standard of care', it took several trips and denials before she got her 1st mammogram approved because she was only 26.
Wednesday morning, I woke up to a reminder on Facebook.  It was the video below from the Don't Ignore Stage Four Campaign.
https://www.facebook.com/cowellanderson/videos/10100290560396812/

The video brought back a lot of memories and I loved hearing her voice, but when I began to think about how doctors, primarily in Greenville at Carolina Breast, had ignored her concerns.... I was filled with hate and anger that consumed me for most of the day.

Below is a letter that was sent to several doctors and lawyers regarding what took place with Vanessa's stage 4 diagnosis.  I'm not sure what we were trying to accomplish?  The medical bills had begun spiraling out of control and we had just felt robbed, ignored and abused by the entire process.  I think we were just looking to fight back against this ever happening to someone else again?

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A letter from 8/21/2014

The following information is in regards to my wife, Vanessa Anderson.  We feel as if she was misdiagnosed, but more importantly, following the misdiagnosis she did not receive proper treatment in regards to her complaints for over a year and a half.  We believe that this negligence and disregard to my wife’s complaints has put her where she is today.

My wife has stage 4 breast cancer.  She is ER, PR negative and HER-2 positive... an aggressive cancer.  She has been told by doctors that she will be on chemotherapy indefinitely and has a small percentage chance to live past 5 years.  My wife has an incurable form of cancer that I believe could have been avoided, or at least detected sooner, with some simple blood tests and imaging.

We have learned of 3 other women having similar instances with the same oncologist... one of them nearly identical to my wife’s case below.  We feel that something must be done to hopefully save others from having to face this horrible disease at such an advanced state… leaving them with only limited options to fight.

Below is a timeline highlighting the events, and disregard of my wife’s complaints, that has led us to where we are today.  I apologize for the length, but feel it important to share as you make your decision.

April 2011 to July 2011

Vanessa began having pain, fever and discharge in her left breast and was originally diagnosed with an infection.  After antibiotics and 2 ultrasounds that did not reveal any findings, her primary care doctor referred Vanessa to an oncologist in New Bern, NC.  Doctors found an area of concern after a mammogram, had a biopsy and MRI scheduled that revealed what was thought as DCIS in July 2011.  Vanessa and I had talks with the New Bern oncologist about treatment options.  He recommended a mastectomy and possible radiation and chemotherapy.  Vanessa was concerned about health care in the New Bern area and decided to get a second opinion from doctors in Greenville.  She also had major concerns on reconstructive surgery, being that the New Bern area did not have options available as in Greenville.  Vanessa decided to use doctors in Greenville, primarily for the reconstructive process, after being assured that a mastectomy would remove her cancer.  Vanessa decided to be proactive and have both breasts removed to significantly reduce the possibility that she may redevelop breast cancer at a later date.  The doctors in Greenville assured us that the mastectomy process, along with the reconstruction, had been successfully done on multiple patients, and that any sign of breast cancer would be noticeable through self mammograms and 'bumps' showing on Vanessa’s breast area.  These decisions were made with an understanding that Vanessa was only 26 at diagnosis, she had concerns about her appearance as a young female, and we were assured this process was reliable and an effective means for treatment to her cancer.

August 2011

Vanessa had a double mastectomy surgery with the addition of 'expanders' implanted to begin reconstructive surgery.  Doctors assured us the cancer was removed and all margins were clear.  Vanessa had a follow up appointment after the surgery on 8/29/11, to which we were assured they had removed the cancer and any new growths would be detectable through self mammograms and observations.  I vividly remember him drawing a picture explaining the “peaks and valleys” of the tissue removed and any area of concern would be along the top skin area and noticeable by touch and appearance.   No blood work or testing was done on the visit and the next appointment was scheduled for 2/27/12.

August 2011 – February 2012

Vanessa went through a long and painful process of expanding and having breast reconstruction.  Notes from the plastic surgeon are accurate throughout the process and are available by request.

February 27, 2012

Appointment with oncologist following reconstructive surgery.  No blood work or testing was done on the visit.  Vanessa was reassured from talks on the August 2011 visit about self examination and reoccurrence.  She stated pain in her breast but was told it was from the reconstruction process.  Next appointment was scheduled for 8/30/2012.

August 30, 2012

Follow up appointment with oncologist.  No blood work or testing was done on the visit.  Vanessa again complained of soreness in her breast.  She was reassured any concern would be visible through self examination.  Next appointment was scheduled for March 2013.

*April 16, 2013

Vanessa had to move her appointments due to a switch in insurance providers with a job change.  She visited both doctors on 4/16/2013 and still complained about pain and soreness in her left breast along with not felling well.  Her plastic surgeon discussed the possibility of having a 'cushion' placed against the implant and stated that the 'bump' was possibly scar tissue.  Her oncologist was made aware of the findings and stated from his notes, “LEFT BREAST - Surgically absent. An intact implant is noted. Skin well-healed mastectomy incision.  Tenderness lower outer edge of implant. No irregular/suspicious lesions noted.  PATIENT EDUCATION: - I reassured the patient there are no suspicious findings at this time. No treatment for the pain is indicated at this time. Self-exam technique, frequency and importance emphasized.”  He then scheduled a follow up appointment for 5-6 months out.  Again, no blood work or testing was done on the visit and Vanessa left the appointment frustrated about the area on her breast and not feeling well for some time.

On the way home she began to cry and demanded that I take her to the Emergency Room.  Our family had been battling a flu-bug the past few weeks and I assured Vanessa that if anything was wrong the doctors would have said something.  She was persistent and emotional, so I called our family doctor for a checkup that afternoon.  The doctor agreed that he thought the soreness and “not feeling well” was associated with the bug going around.  But, unlike her oncologist, he decided to do some blood work just to be certain.  The blood work revealed elevated liver function numbers.  This was the first indicator there was definitely a problem.  Vanessa’s cancer had metastasized and spread throughout her breast, bones and liver.  Her liver was completely coated with cancer and she was on the verge of acute liver failure.  Within the week, Vanessa had begun to hallucinate and showed signs of sever jaundice.  It was agreed to begin aggressive chemotherapy to try and control the cancer and regain normal liver function.

I nearly lost Vanessa in May 2013 because of her cancer going undetected for the past year and a half.  No blood work or testing was ever done, no MRI, no type of any imaging, nothing put a quick visual check and the reassurance that if anything were to come back we would see the signs.  Now, Vanessa and our family have to endure chemotherapy treatments indefinitely and watch her fight an advanced cancer.  She has an incurable form of cancer that I believe could have been avoided, or at least detected sooner, with some simple blood tests and imaging.  Again, we strongly feel that something must be done to hopefully save others from having to face this horrible disease at such an advanced state… leaving them with only limited options to fight.

Please advise on what we need to do from here.

Sincerely,

Pete Anderson

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The above letter was sent to several doctors and lawyers.  All it got us was an "I'm sorry" and one lawyer had the audacity to tell me "there's nothing that can be done... the cat was already out of the bag."  The process did, and still does, leave me angry for something that SHOULD NOT have happened to my wife.  After a few attempts, and the same response, we gave up and begin focusing on just fighting what she had been dealt.  For all the wrongs that happened medically, they were replaced with so many positives from New Bern Cancer Care and UNC Cancer Hospitals.  I hope to write about their work in the future.

Despite the feeling, I actually was able to get a lot of work done.  I worked from home today and helped my dad with some insurance issues, and had 2 big issues with work regarding some permitting for farms, and my favorite (sarcasm), legal issues and law.  Later in the afternoon, I got a text from my preacher that Sunday's service was uploaded.  I took a minute to listen and just focused on his words at the end.  It help tremendously.

Despite all the wrongs, all the hate on my part, all the pain... Vanessa won.  She is at peace. She hurts no more. Eternity is hers in a place of perfection.

I will never forget the day Vanessa learned of her 1st diagnosis, Monday, July 25th, 2011. We were both scared out of our minds, but for some reason, I grabbed her hand and started to pray.  I told her, standing in the kitchen while we wept, "no matter the outcome, no matter what we face, you have beaten this. You have won.  Your faith in God guarantees it."

Listening to Dave's message reminded me of the victory and finally stopped a little of the anger.  What little bit that was left was quickly erased by text messages from Meg, picking up Madison from school and seeing her smile, taking Annie and friends for a bite before practice, and one of the greatest basketball games I have ever watched in my entire life... by little 2nd and 3rd graders!?!?!  I could write an entire entry just on the game, but I think I've already wrote enough.

In closing, I was so tired after the afternoon/evening, I passed out on the couch only to be awaken by the sound of thunder and a lot of rain.  Vanessa loved thunderstorms (unlike Ricky who runs and hides under the toilet), and the rain was much needed after several days of February HEAT?!?!?!  :)

The rain made me think of where she is today.  I miss her so much and will probably be riding this crazy train forever, but she's good... she won the battle... she's at peace.  It's my job to not screw things up and meet her again one day.  That ain't going to happen when I'm wanting to drive to Greenville and grab some doctor by the throat.

Sooooooo, I'm trying. I'm praying. I'm doing all I can to focus on what is right, and to be a little more like Vanessa during her time here on Earth.